Recently, I find myself asking those around me the question, "Who are you?" The answers I receive vary, as people have differing senses of self. Some respond with confidence, and some respond with ambiguity. I began asking this question to understand where my sense of self stood among others. I thought that I clearly knew who I was and wanted to revel in the superiority I would feel over those who could not answer the question. However, as I write this, I realize that I struggle to answer the question, and so this preface will act as a canvas for my thoughts on the matter. I want to demonstrate to you, the reader, who I am, as well as what you can expect in this collection of unorganised thoughts moving forward.
I find I cannot answer the question firstly because I struggle to know where to start. There are plenty of things I am interested in, characteristics I am proud of, and accomplishments I have achieved. But which parts truly matter? It is difficult to know which parts of one's collective living actually suffice as an answer to the question. I recall a conversation I had with my sister. We were driving, and the topic of conversation shifted to a man, whose name I would find out later was Karl Bushby, who had been walking around the earth for almost 30 years and is hoping to reach the end of his expedition this year. My first thought was how utterly wasted his life had been, having done nothing but walk for 30 years. But then my sister pointed out that whatever else could be the point in life? Travelling the world, meeting faces, learning languages, and embracing cultures, as opposed to someone like me, who aims to work a desk job while having fun with my hobbies in my free time. For a moment I almost felt imprisoned by my own life choices, and I realized that Karl most likely has the easiest time answering the question "The man who walked the earth." It put into perspective that maybe the question is not as simple as "Who are you?" but perhaps more complex. Maybe, who do you want to be? Who do you want to be remembered as? Or, what can you be proud of in your life?
To answer the question, you must define the context of what constructs someones self. Previously I mentioned perhaps accomplishments, characteristics and behaviors, or maybe your output towards society. I think all of these are valid answers, and it is upon the one who answers the question to decide which route he will take. If someone is defined as their accomplishments, then I would answer the question with references to my hobbies and interests. I travel and compete and place well within my hobby, I graduated summa cum laude, and I have created projects I can boast and be proud of. These accomplishments portray a sketch of who I am. Or, maybe not who I am, but what I am capable of, from which who I am can be derived. If someone is defined by their characteristics and behaviors, then I would answer the question simply with "A good person." I am forever trying to improve on myself and better my altruism and patience. I truly believe that how we handle relationships and deal with people in this life is of the utmost importance. Therefore, I choose to be hopelessly naive and see only the best in those around me, always. If someone is defined as their output towards society, then I would answer the question with an explanation of my career goals and ambitions. My dream career is one where I can help others, both within and outside my field. I want to apply my intelligence towards creating a better world, and I would refuse to surrender my morals to a corporation for a paycheck. These contexts all lead to the construction of a different me. From a me who is selfless, to one who is creative, to one that is ambitious. None of these answers are wrong; it simply depends on who you ask. However, I do not think I could narrow down on any one of these, which brings me to my next point.
The question itself is wrong, and in writing this, it has become apparent that asking this question to anyone is quite unfair. The question is wrong because it does not account for the vastness of what it means to be human. It does not account for who someone might be as a father versus who someone might be as a friend. It does not account for who someone is at their place of work versus who someone is at their place of leisure. It forces the one who answers to pigeonhole themselves into one category and dismiss their other qualities. While it is certainly important to have a strong sense of self, your self is defined by your existence and everything it encompasses, not by your answer to a single three-word question.
I am not trying to sound particularly poetic or revolutionary with my ideas; I simply think the topic is quite interesting, and it has led to plenty of fruitful conversations between me and my friends. I still do not know how I would answer the question myself; regardless, one thing I know for certain about myself is I like to think. I like to question the world we live in, and I am curious to learn how that world operates. Sometimes I think in circles, and in those moments I find solace in writing down my thoughts to attempt to structure them, albeit never to any avail. That is the purpose of this blog. To act as a sketchbook of ideas, a collection of unorganised thoughts. I am debating within myself how "proper" or perhaps "formal" I should make these blog entries, but I am leaning towards doing nothing more than opening the windows of my soul and writing whatever comes into my head. I hope you, the reader, can enjoy my thoughts alongside me, and I hope they can push you to think about these topics yourself.
Thank you for reading.